Things have seemed pretty quiet on my blog lately.
Life has been anything but though.
This month I have stepped back a little from being here, and online in general,
to be entirely present in real life.
It was needed friends, as much as I enjoy blogging...there will always be other things which are and should be my first priority. The Lord has made it very clear to me that when this becomes more important than several other things, I should make a quiet exit from being a blogger. So family, marriage, being a wife, being a part of our local church, all come first.
With that said, it has also been a great month for focusing on things outside of my immediate view of life. My Purpose Project with the Mocha Club has given me such a focus on the needs in our world, things I have become desensitized to.
Things which should hurt my heart, like it does the Lord's but often it doesn't.
My focus has been on providing for three children this month.
I haven't had much else to write about except this need.
Everytime I sat down to write anything, it seemed meaningless in light of those posts.....
It has been a month of feeling deeply.
Not long after I announced my plans to run in order to raise money, the country was shaken with the news of what happened at the Boston Marathon.
This shook me friends.
As I have been running to train and planning to participate in a city run next month.
It was so close to home and raised so many questions.
How it could have been the race that I am due to be a part of where this took place.
Fear has been creeping in all month, little by little.
What if the goal is not reached? What if I can't run the race? What if the proposed time of 26mins is not beaten? What if we only raise enough for one child instead of three?
Have I failed? What did I do wrong?
Honestly, I am still wrestling with most of these fears.
But God has started to show me the hindrance of fear and need for trust.
How fear has been taking my eyes off Him.
He has been reminding me not to fear certain things - like what people will think of me if my proposed goal is not met.
Because the whole point is focus on Him and obedience, not the number.
These words from a famous hymn have been going round and round in my head.
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face.
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
When my eyes are fixed on Him, it doesn't matter whether the goal is reached or not.
Already it is a privilege to watch funds come in to provide for one child.
Through our willingness, He has worked through us.
Even if it isn't what I think it should be.
It is always how God wanted it to be.
I know that God is able to go impossible things, He has shown me in the past.
All of this has been orchestrated by Him this month, none of this is done by me.
I'm not sure He could have shown me that if the funds had been completed by week one.
He knew what else I would be walking through and knows the exact number for the final donation total - it will be no surprise to Him.
And regardless of the goal being reached or not - It was all to bring Him glory and be obedient!
So I am rejoicing in the knowledge that whatever happens, I or we together friends,
have not failed.
What a huge weight lifted!
That being said, we still have a couple of days to finish raising the money, I would love for you personally to join us friend!
Any amount makes a difference, no matter how small you think it is.
I also want to thank those of you who have partnered with me already! It is only with your help, this is happening! And I want to encourage those of you who haven't yet joined me that it isn't too late!
And to thank you for partnering, I am giving away a pair of earrings from my store to one of you who donates in these last few days!!
No matter the amount - if you donate, you may be receiving a pair in the mail soon!!!
Loving the least alongside you friends!