This song speaks deep into the feelings I have about seeing this year end. Actually it's my go-to when I need a pick me up battling feeling overwhelmed. Which has been a few times this year if we are admitting things.
I had to head back into the archives to even find out what my word was for 2013. And friends I had written some words that absolutely describe how this year has been for us.
'...I decided on 'promise' for this year ahead as I feel there will be several big changes coming up for us. Definitely moving again (look out for that one soon),
maybe job changes and other things.
So I feel that 'promise' will be a good reminder to hold onto God in all the change that is likely to be coming our way in the year ahead.'
Cue tears for this girl, this year has been crazy. Like an uphill battle in some ways. Just events which have left me feeling like I'm flat on my face with nothing but the Lord to hold onto in all the change. I don't know that I realised just how much of a reality those words I wrote last January would be lived out this year. Change is hard friends. Change is not always good. Change has seen me write words so brutally honest in my journals and dashboard that are full of emotion and words which I will probably never see published. They are far too raw and personal for me to be comfortable sharing that openly. There is a sacredness to them, and I will definitely be saving them for years to come to look back on and see the Lord's faithfulness.
I'm not super sad to be saying goodbye to 2013, in all honesty I am thankful for the growth which took place in her daily events, but would not wish to go back and live it again under any circumstances. 2013 was hard, a really hard year. It compares with one other year in my life under which I felt like things just wouldn't continue. Couldn't ever be the same again.
I am certainly no longer the same girl that sat here and wrote those precious words almost 12 months ago. It's probably a good thing she didn't know what was coming. In some ways I feel the growth was so worth it, so worth the pain.
I am not trying to tease with giving no details of what happened. I apologize if it seems that way, friends. This is more of a sigh of relief from my soul that hopefully 2014 will hold more joyful events than 2013. That heartache won't be as present, that as the scriptures tell us there is a season for everything, I am holding onto the hope that this year is a new season. A season of joy, hope, laughter and redemption.
I am hoping to love better in general, to love deeply those around. To see others as our sweet Father sees them more than I currently do. To continue to lean on God for strength, worth and value. To remember that my identity is in Him alone. To be free from the opinions and comments of others. I crave hope just like everyone else.
So for this year, this is the word I will hold onto......hope.
There is always hope.
So I stand and wait
I need a drop of grace to carry me today,
A simple song to say
It's written on my soul:
Hope's what we crave
I won't turn to dust now
Let these tears rust now on my face
Give me the spark now
(For King & Country)
I am hopeful that I will look back on this post a year from now and be able to see how that little word held huge meaning. How it carried us through into a different season.
Have any of you decided to pick a word for this year? Have you looked back on this past year in light of a word that you picked last January?